my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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