There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
