just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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