also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
