Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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