Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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