it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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