Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
