is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
