What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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