Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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