it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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