filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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