It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
