we're blogging at a bar
with your own penis?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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