Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I could fuck to npr.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
