I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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