she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
