Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
