We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
