I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
