we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
