5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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