last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
