So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
