It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Your dad touched me again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
