Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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