So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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