i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
