On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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