I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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