You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
