just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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