I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
