; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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