but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
