Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
