I don't usually arrange sex via text message
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
