he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
