Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
