Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
