A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize