The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Congratulations! We have a period
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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