Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
