I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
