omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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