Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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