Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
