is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
