we have officially lost it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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