we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
