Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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