I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
