dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Barsexuality is the new black.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
