we're chasing vodka with high fives
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
