the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
