Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
